Internet trivia time: Can you recite the entire script of the longer than Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Cats” running Albuquerque Journal required-to-view “premium content” ad from memory? Do you know which brand of breakfast cereal stars in the this ad? Can you name at least three Journal sports reporter merely from seeing this ad 5,000,000 times, having never actually ever seen the Journal sports page? Remember, peeking is cheating.
ABQ Ride Story #75423-A: Flying Condiments of the Apocalypse: So I’m playing with my new Garman 60CSx GPS on the #5 bus going down Lomas yesterday, not really paying attention to the very nice, older, heavily bearded gentleman wearing a top-hat with playing cards sticking out of it in front of me, when I see a man madly dash right in front of the 40 mph moving bus.
The bus lurches dangerously to a stop, and the guy who dashed across Lomas opens a styrofoam to-go box and starts rearranging the condiments on his 7-11 bought hot dog alongside the waiting bus. A few seconds of rearranging later, the bus driver gruffly to the point of almost homicidally finally says “get on the bus, sir”. The panting, condiment-rearranging man is joined by an extremely pissed-off woman at the impromptu bus stop. She stares nuclear daggers at the man as they both get on the bus.
“That was so stupid” she tells condiment man while apologizing to the bus driver. “Why did you do that?” she indignantly asks.
“I have a short attention-span,” the man replies. He goes back to obsessively making sure the ketchup and mustard are evenly distributed on his hot dog. The woman viciously rips off a few strips of brown gas station restroom paper towels and hands one to the man.
The #5 bus continues the trip down hill on Lomas toward downtown.
P.S.: Yes, the important part of that “flash non-fiction” story was the mention of my new GPS.