Palin v. Cubs (with Biden & Dodgers only present due to necessity)

There hasn’t been this much hype about a new TV comedy since “All in the Family”.

There haven’t been sports fans this whiny since….well, there’s never been sports fans this whiny.

Sarah Palin.

The Chicago Cubs.

Tonight.

Feel feel to print out the linescore below and fill in as needed:

Inning: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R* H* E* W*
Palin:
Cubs:

*R: For the Cubs this is “Runs Scored”; For Sarah Palin this is “Riffs including the phrase ‘Hockey Mom'”
*H: For the Cubs this is “Hits”; For Sarah Palin this is “Howlingly funny Admiral Stockdale moments that are really not funny, but you can’t stop laughing at”
*E: For the Cubs this is “Errors”, as in “it is a big error to have fans throw home run balls AT opposing players“; For Sarah Palin this is “Easily answerable questions that all Palin-haters will despise and be pissed off at the ease in which she easily handles them”
W* For the Cubs this is “Whiny moments captured in the stands filled with drunken Cub fans who seem to feel a World Series is owed them just because ‘they’ haven’t won one since they were minus-78 years old”; For Sarah Palin this number represents “number of glasses of wine needed to endure Palin/Biden debate”

Happy scoring, everyone!

P.S.: I’m setting the line as follows (and I’m serious):

Biden/Palin: Palin wins easily, because a tie is a massive, earth-shifting victory. Heck even anything close to a tie is a win.
Dodgers/Cubs: Billingsley v. Zambrano. Hard not to give this one to the Cubs, but if Sabathia can biff so can “big Z”. The look on a down 0-2 Cubs crowd after nine innings and fifteen beers would be just as priceless as the for-certain look on all the Palin-Haters when she pulls out tonight’s massively unexpected tie. I’ll take the Cubs and have to imagine that down 0-2 look.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s