Howdy Superintendent Brooks!
I just want you to know that’s not where I’m coming from. Far from it. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable making all these hard decisions. For instance, I’m running to the coffee pot..can I freshen up your cup? Maybe you need somebody to help adjust your desk chair. I know those little adjuster things on the side are hard to figure out some times. Let me do that for you.
Have I mentioned how cute those kids are in the pictures on your desk? Grandchildren are they? Not that you’re old or anything. Simply splendid children, and the matching red, white and blue “USA” sweaters are darling. I can’t help but chuckle at how beautiful those kids are.
You know, I can’t but notice your desk is a bit messy, what with your difficult job and all. It’s no bother…mind if I help clean it up for you? Yeah, yeah I’m a teacher, but I’ve got some free time this morning, and I don’t mind losing a smidge of “Prep” to “help the Boss” whenever I can. No problem at all.
Oh, thanks for asking about my job. Yeah I teach and have been teaching for years now. Love my job, love APS and LOVE the job you’re doing. Wow, you are so much better than the last few losers we had as Superintendent. It’s night and day I tell you. You’re smart, and a good leader, and funny…really funny. You know that cheese sandwich joke you made last year when everyone was griping about forcing kids to eat them…well, at least I thought that was funny. Hell, it was funny, and these uptight folks around town just need to lighten up. Don’t you agree? Oh, sorry I said “Hell” in your office. Rest assured, I never cuss like that in the classroom that I truly and deeply love.
Hey, I notice the couch in your office waiting room has a pillow. You want a suggestion? How about we take that pillow and stick it right where your neck is on this office desk? I think it will fit without falling off..and man, that will SO much more comfortable for you.
How many teaching jobs are you considering cutting? Hundreds? I admit your plans are changing so quickly I can’t really keep up, but I know…the situation is “fluid” as they say. Still, hundreds? That must be a terrible responsibility. Just like every other teacher, I know I sure would HATE to lose the job that I so desperately love, and, frankly, excel at.
Now that I’ve got you. I just happen to have these awards that I’ve won over the years with me. Guess I was cleaning up my home office and left them in this cardboard box I took to your office. You know, just happen to have with me. Here’s one for “Employee of the Month”, and here’s one certifying that I’m a “Techno Whiz”. Oh, and down here at the bottom of the box is a certificate pointing out all the subjects I’m “Highly Qualified” to teach. Oh, and what’s this resume doing here? I guess I left it in the box. That’s funny. I forgot all about graduating “Magna Cum Laude”, and that my hobbies include writing and “changing the life of our children”.
Just kidding. I’d never forget about the kids, Superintendent Brooks. It really IS all about them, wouldn’t you agree?
Oh, you’re busy and have to run to a meeting. Whew…well let me get out of your way. I hope you like that new pillow office chair setup. Just to make it more secure I crammed that resume and a few of my business cards in the crack between the pillow and headrest. I have a few extra cards here…why don’t I just leave them on your desk to use as really small reminder notepads.
Well, have a good meeting. I really must be getting back to class and the job I love anyway. Don’t let the job cuts get you down. We teachers are behind you 110% and know you’ll do what’s best for all of us. Especially what’s best for me. Just kidding. Seriously, have a good meeting and all. I gotta run.