This Tech Aggression Will Not Stand, Man

Always take the technophobia of a “blogger” with a boulder of salt, but, then again, “blogging” is so 2004. And what a crappy year that is to be stuck in, now that I think about it.

Nevertheless, with the onset/onslaught of the IPad, I think it’s time to state my line in the sand. My Tech-Rubicon. The places on the information superhighway that I will avoid, sticking to the blue highways of 2004 instead. And in some case, metaphorical blue highways that few travelers have seen for at least a decade.

I create the following list in part because of the IPad, but also because I’m still planning on doing a month or so of biking along the Great Divide Mountain Bike Route this Summer, and the question has come up (tinged with elements of spousal demand): will Scot get a cell phone for this bike tour? Now there’s a Rubicon for ya.

Things Scot Will Not Get/Do:

  • A cell phone
  • Any phone device hooked up to my car
  • An IPad
  • Anything technological that starts with “I”
  • Twitter
  • Any portable MP3 player
  • Upload videos to YouTube or anywhere else
  • Visit web sites with titles like “hazcheezeburger” and “lolcatz!!!11!!!.com”
  • HDTV
  • Anything required to see HDTV
  • Watch any 3-D movie
  • Watch any movie with more than $10 spent on CGI
  • Blu-Ray
  • A robotic vacuum cleaner

Things I will continue to enjoy that are called technological:

  • As a baseball fan, I bought a package to listen to all MLB games, but will not buy MLB.TV or “Extra Innings” or any video package.  Baseball is meant for the radio.  Period.
  • Netflix “Instant Viewing”, which I prefer in part because it takes my DVD player 10 minutes to do anything.  This is, in part, due to the fact my DVD player is from 2004 and was the cheapest I could find in 2004.
  • “CoverItLive” chat sessions (I hope you know what I’m talking about here).
  • Music via “Rhapsody”.
  • Online versions of high school newspapers like this one from Albuquerque High.  If you do anything related to this blogpost, please click this link.
  • Facebook.  Yes, really, but only when obscure people send me request to “Friend” and I stare at the name and think “Who the Hell is this person?” and then go to Facebook to check, immediately logging out when I found out who the person is, only, of course, to get another email request to “Friend” immediately thereafter…a vicious circle (kind of like the Internet-circa 2010 in a nutshell)
  • Free online versions of literature like Shakespeare and P.G. Wodehouse.

In sum, your humble blogger is getting old.  I mean….P.G. Wodehouse?  Are you kidding me?

P.S.: Keep in mind these lists are ALWAYS subject to change…coming from a guy who said he’d NEVER join Facebook EVER, EVER, EVER.  For instance, I see a battle over this cell phone thing on the marital horizon.  Ugh.  Also, externalities can cause changes along this front as well.  Look at Conan O’Brien…nothing like unemployment to get one drinking the techno-Kool-Aid


4 thoughts on “This Tech Aggression Will Not Stand, Man

  1. Dear Luddite Scot,

    I shall not come to defense of cell phones, but, having taken my 6th-grade son yesterday after school to Best Buy to see the new iPad, I have to report that I’m more impressed with it than any tech device I’ve seen in the last 15 years. Really!

    We may have to pry those old paper-based books from your clutching hand, but the next way to read print–no, call that text–has arrived.

    Now I just need a spare $500 to buy one…

  2. do you have a Wii? not me…

    just because you don’t want all of those things doesn’t mean you’re old! I’m 39 and I don’t want a lot of those things either.

    love Netflix Instant Viewing!

    sorry, what is CoverItLive?

  3. Steve: I’m just gonna have to take your word on the IPad. Sorry I don’t have a spare $500 either to let you borrow/get one. Speaking of that device, here’s a “hack” using “apps” that will let you somehow tie video from your IPhone and blow it up on your IPad.

    And I say…not only do I not want this…why would anyone want this? And I answer myself (perhaps because I don’t use the phone much and end up just having conversations with myself instead) by saying “Scot, you just don’t get it. Video Chat! Wow!” To which I reply why would anyone want video chat? and so on, ad infinitum

    Robin: No, don’t have a Wii. I played video games on my PC until, roughly, FIFA 2004. I still have my Gravis gamepad around here somewhere. I remember, around 1999 or 2000 seeing a friend hooking up his full-blown steering wheel to computer setup to play “NASCAR” and thinking…”I’m probably not going be much of an electronics consumer from here on out”. Turns out I was eventually right on that. It just took a while.

    As for “CoverItLive”, it’s an interesting moderated chat plug-in. Or at least interesting for dweebs like me who prefer text to video, controlled chat to Twitter, and snark to “no, you’re dumb…no, you are” type stuff.


  4. I have a cell phone for 2 reasons only — emergencies and long distance phone calls.

    It’s a prepaid cell phone. It cost $30 which included 300 minutes. I buy additional minute every other months (minutes expire after 60 days) and any unused minutes roll over.

    I don’t care to talk on the phone very much so this is perfect for me. The cost per minute is 10 cents — comparable to most long-distance carriers. There’s no roaming charges and I can call anywhere in the U.S. (even Hawaii where my brother lives.)

    Check it out.

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