Back to Work: “Required Trainings” Edition

Alrighty, the sun is going down literally (although given its very weak effort, I’d have to say Mr. Sun could have largely not bothered going up at all today) and metaphorically on our glorious Winter Break, 2013-2014.  A good time was had by all, even by those of us who coughed and coughed and coughed up strangely colored clotted mucus for most of the fortnight.

It’s time to get back to work.

And tonight’s work, for many local teachers, will be completing the very so-called “Required Trainings.”  It’s kinda hard to describe to outsiders what the “Required Trainings” are, especially because if I started copy/pasting the “Trainings” that would be in violation of one of the “Trainings.”

So I’ll have to speak in generalities, a bit.  Here goes:  The “Required Trainings” are the stupidest part of any job ever held by anyone at any time in recorded history.  Or even unrecorded history.  

Yeah, that about sums ’em up.

Put a bit more specifically, “Required Trainings” are “on” (and I use the preposition “on” EXTREMELY loosely here) subjects such as kids with asthma, workplace harassment, internet protocol and all sorts of other miscellaneous stuff outside of the central workplace idea that teachers teach stuff.  And the subjects covered are serious ones, well, some of them are.

What’s hilariously unserious is the training “methodology” employed.   There are videos to watch on each subject, followed by a little multiple choice quiz for each.  What’s wrong with that? Nothing, until one considers some basic questions of standardized test creation that don’t seem to come up much in the brouhaha around standardized testing.  Namely, what’s on the test?  What are the specific questions?  How hard are the questions and do they require any “depth of knowledge” brought on by watching the little videos?  Any knowledge whatsover?  Or could the quizzes really be passed by anyone smart enough to know the District doesn’t want to kill and/or be sued by every person/entity in existence?

I could answer these questions, but, according to one of the “Required Trainings,” I’d have to kill both you and myself if I did so.  So I won’t.  I’m not answering those questions.

Besides, I’m too busy answering the “Required Trainings” quiz questions, at least for the next nine minutes or so.  There are nine or ten “Trainings,” with quizzes of roughly ten questions each…yeah, it should take every bit of nine minutes to finish them.  Maybe eight.

Welcome back, everyone.






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