Perhaps the most popular page on the Albuquerque Public School website these days is that announcing impending retirements. In days o’ yore, this page was where one went solely to contemplate whether it was pathetic to make an announcement about one’s pending retirement. Debate existed about whether this action was completely pathetic, only somewhat pathetic, or actually a well and good thing and would you please stop being so cynical and such a jerk about everything, you jerk.
Such innocent, care-free days…
Today, the page is referenced with the detective skills of your typical Kremlinologist. The overriding research question: Just how many people are gonna jump this rat-filled flaming ship of educational toxicity? As one can’t really rely on the Albuquerque Journal or other media for much of that extinct social activity known as “reporting,” APS Kremlinologists have to use such crude research tools in answering this question. Retirement announcements typically hit once a week, and just like the Onion in the early ‘Net days when it published once a week, folks are diving in every Thursday to see the carnage (the next list of boat-jumpers should hit on the 15th).
Honestly, so far it’s a bit hard to see a truly dramatic rise in such posted announcements. Crudely counting up the numbers from 2014, so far, and 2013 show an increase, but it’s not as much as one might think. That said, what is most glaring is the growing list of schools posting multiple retirements. Entire swaths of folks are leaving schools like Volcano Vista HS, Mitchell ES and Navajo ES. The elementary numbers are particularly shocking as the staffs at those small schools aren’t that big to begin with.
And it’s also too early to tell. Many announcements are still to come, and I must admit I’m looking forward to that May 15th announcement “dump” with a strange sort of car-crash rubbernecking glee. Nothing gladdens an APS Kremlinologist’s heart like confirmation of a research hunch. Yes, I know such glee is actually more pathetic than posting one’s retirement at the APS site in the first place.
But enough about me. Instead, let’s finish the week with APS Superintendent Winston Brooks’ appreciation letter to teachers, a letter that has 100% to do with the fact it’s been “Teacher Appreciation Week” (trademark, Hallmark Corporation) and 0% to do with flaming ships filled with educational toxicity.
Happy ship-jumping, everyone. Have a wonderful weekend.
P.S.: I also hear through the grapevine this morning that APS has decided to give Tier II and III (i.e., old) teachers both the 3% raise and the $2,000 per year in Susana Martinez “I hate old teachers” money. Can anyone say “educational toxicity differential”? I went to the Journal thinking they might have this story, but no. Instead, they have a riveting story about Ms. Winston Brooks having access to Winston’s APS email. STOP THE PRESSES, FOLKS, THE HARD-HITTING “REPORTERS” HAVE THE STORY OF TEH YEAR!!!11!111!1